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like father like son?「父親」等同「教練」?

Updated: Sep 15, 2023





Find the Chinese version by scrolling down.全中文版置於最下方。


Father = coach? This is what I thought after becoming a father. As the son of the family, after giving birth, I will project my expectations and how to raise a boy to my son's growth. For example, I will arrange to learn some group activities, football, rugby baseball, etc., and I will also participate in golf activities. I use what I believe in to help my child. I hope that he can play team play activities, learn people skills, understand communication and get along with different people during sports. I always think that this will help him grow up and study in the future. , this is exactly his "future", as if it must happen in my expectation.


When I knew that my son had transgender tendencies, I always felt that it was possible to change it. When my son was in college, we also returned to Vancouver and lived together again. When he brought his partner to meet us, it was already confirmed that this is a person. Failing to change the situation, in fact, he just became the "self" we brought him into this world. I am a Daddy who can accept different things, so I will wait for time to change myself; in the process, I can continue to grow and develop, and I can also learn more from the "gay parents" group. In the past two or three years, I have deepened I know a lot of gay people around me, including the son of a friend who has known each other for decades, who is still learning today, not criticizing, and respecting individual differences.


I also hope that the parents of this LGBTQ2+ group will not resist or insist on inherent ideas, change their mentality, believe that they still have shortcomings, open up and learn continuously, and grow together with love in a diverse and inclusive Canada.



父親=教練?這是我成為父親後的想法。作為家中的孻子,生了孩子之後,會將自己期望和如何培養男孩子方式,投射到兒子成長,例如會安排學習一些團體活動,足球、欖球 baseball等等,亦會參加高爾夫球活動,將自己所相信的一套來幫助孩子,希望佢玩team play嘅活動 ,在運動之中能夠學到people skill懂溝通和跟不同的人相處,一直認為,這對他將來成長同學業都有幫助,這正是他的「將來」,彷似必然在我的期望中發生。


當我知道兒子有跨性別倾向的時候,初時總覺得是可以轉變過來的,直至兒子大學時期,我們亦返回溫哥華,再次同住相處,他帶partner見我倆時候,就已經可以確定,這是個未能改變情況,事實上,他只是做回我們帶他來這世界的「自已」。我是一個可以接受不同事情的Daddy,所以我會等候時間給自已轉變;過程中,可以繼續成長同發展,我亦可以在「同志家長」群體裡多些學習,這兩三年間,讓我加深認識身邊為數不少的同志群體,包括相識數十載朋友的兒子,今天仍在不斷學習,不批判,多尊重個體的不同。


我都希望在這個LGBTQ2+群體的家長,不要先抗拒或堅持固有想法,改變心態,相信自己仍有不足,開放不斷學習,係多元包容嘅加拿大,本着愛一起成長。








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