top of page
Search

Keep Your Love On 愛不止息

Updated: Sep 19, 2023


Find the Chinese version by scrolling down.全中文版置於最下方。


I am an entrepreneur who enjoy exploring new fields and believe in truth and values. I had been active in the non-profit organizations and social enterprises and worked with Christian businessmen in Hong Kong to propagate “business missions”.


Over the past ten years, I met entrepreneurs and business leaders in various fields, and also received professional trainings in Christian counselling as well as professional coach training. We conducted a lot of church and community outreach ministries for the grassroots and underprivileged. The recipients and communities we had been in touch with were ethnically diverse; many of them are from the LGBTIQ+ communities. I witnessed how these communities are different from what the society perceives in general. “Sexual orientation” is a choice or has even become an “iconic” trend.

Think about this:


If you were “heterosexual”, did you really have a choice to become “homosexual”?

If it was up to you, would you choose this foreseeably challenging path?


In the covenant path: revelation for my positioning

When my undergraduate son told me he found he was from the LGBTQ2S+ community, I neither denied nor disagreed nor felt shocked. Contrarily, I was calm and stayed hopeful about it. I worked to search for more hidden stories, forgotten knowledge and related academic studies on this area. I participated in a “LGBTI+ Parents Support Group” hosted by a welfare organization in Hong Kong and got to know a report from the Gender Studies Program of the Chinese University of Hong Kong – it was a wake-up call for me; it enlightened and inspired me.


Connecting with the LGBTIQ+ young people made me realized the challenges they face were just huge. I have been empathic and sympathetic and feeling sad for them. Some were working to understand themselves; some were confused about themselves; some were experiencing emotional stress. They had to deal with the tensions from their families and religions all by themselves. Quite a number of them worked themselves through, cleared up their confusions and successfully came out.


I also shared my experience as a parent. While expecting understanding and supports from their parents, I encourage the youngsters to try and understand the “limits” or even fears of them. Such an attempt and understanding can help take the stress out of their communication and make it more effective.


Like the LGBTIQ+ communities, their parents and loved ones also need strength. To embark this long journey of discovery needs courage; to experience the stress from their relatives, society and religions needs intelligence; to sort out your thoughts and gain self-awareness for personal growth needs wisdom. To the parents, this is an unconventional and little-known family and social issue. They have to learn it from scratch and get ready for the challenge to break out of entrenched stereotype.


These experiences opened our eyes and widened our horizons. My family and I realized “The universe is way bigger than you think”. We keep reminding ourselves to leave rooms for “possibilities”. We do not have to be the kind of “I-know-it-all” parents and adults.

Many families are torn apart because of LGBTIQ+. Family members love each other while struggling with their own pains and feelings. Where are these fears and tensions come from? We are part of a civilized world and diverse society. If we are not part of these families, how can we “put ourselves in their shoes” to give conducive responses? If we are part of them, what can we do to bridge and help build a better world that embraces love, fairness and justice?

“To enhance mental health, family harmony, social diversity, and work with the LGBTQ2S+ community” became my mission at that time.



We met for a reason

Connecting the dots, when I moved back to Vancouver in 2018, I got to know other parents who were also struggling and looking for companions on this journey. We were connected under the help and referrals of the one and only LGBTIQ+ parents support group in Hong Kong. Two of us happened to be neighbor being connected virtually, the other based in Toronto. We three Chinese parents from different backgrounds finally “met” and formed a support group to back each other.


The outbreak of COVID-19 and chaos of social movements across the globe seems stagnating everything, while faith keeps growing. Joanne and I met in October 2022. Her LGBTIQ+ identity and extraordinary life story marked the resumption of our “action” and the birth of Love of Rainbow Recourses Association (LORRA) – a community dedicated to the LGBTIQ+ communities and their families!


Connect to the one universe

We can no longer turn a blind eye to the LGBTIQ+ communities. Every LGBTIQ+ member has their parents, relatives and friends. I always feel like being given a mission to facilitate all of these unique individuals to live a beautiful life. Let love takes the lead. Everyone deserves respect. Everyone is entitled to be treated equally and to live freely and truly to themselves.

I am convinced that be you the mainstream or not, all living, intelligent and spiritual beings are the creation of the “Greatest Love”.


If you feel connected, act now. Join our “Parents Together” gatherings and workshops. Subscribe to our e-newsletter. Let’s connect, embrace and support each other. Let’s become part of a positive and empowered group. Let’s keep alive our faith. Let’s fulfil our mission and keep our love on.


No One Deserves to Battle Alone; Together, We Can Make A Change, Ending the Silence.





作為喜歡開拓新領域、相信真理和價值的企業人,曾積極參與服務一香港基督徒生意人的非牟利組織、社企學會,推動「營商使命」。十多年來認識了不同範疇創業者、商界領袖,同時也受過基督教輔導及ICF國際教練專業訓練,在教會、社區籌辨不少基層及弱勢外展事工,接觸的受助者及社群,都不乏多元種族的「同志」朋友;見證LGBTIQ+群體,並不如社會普遍認為,「性傾向」是可以選擇,甚至是「潮流」標誌。


試想: 若是「異性戀」的你,真的都能選擇成為「同性戀」者?

若可選擇,你會走這條絕不平坦的路?


立約「角色啟示」

當在溫哥華就讀大學的𠒇子告知,他自小已發現他是LGBTIQ+群體時,我並沒有否定或不認同,亦不致錯愕,而是冷靜地抱著期待,致力尋求更多不為人知故事、有關智識和學術報告。出席一間香港社福機構舉辦的「同志家長支援小組」,在一次中文大學「性別研究」學系報告中,得到如同當頭棒喝的啟發和領悟,驚訝自已從未接觸到的領域。


與這些LGBTIQ+年輕人接觸,同理、同感、嘆息他們所要面對的是如此巨大,有仍在自我發現、困惑、情緒困擾,每天都要獨自面對家庭,甚至教會關係的張力,亦有不少從迷惘至跨勝經歷;我亦分享作為家長的心路歷程;鼓勵他們,在期望父母能理解及得到他們支持的同時,嘗試體諒父母的「有限」,甚至是恐懼,助更和諧、有效溝通。


跟LGBTIQ+群體一樣,父母和至親均需要力量,進入一個漫長的探索旅程,需要勇氣面對親友、社會及宗教壓力,需要智慧自我梳理,認識與成長。對家長來說,這是既嶄新又陌生的家庭及社會議題,一切像得要重新學習,預備接受拆除框架,破繭而出的挑戰。


這經歷讓我和家人開了眼界、角度視野,認識到這宇宙,確實比我們認知的更大。”The universe is way bigger than you think”,亦提醒自己,凡事必需留有「空間」,容讓「可能」”Possibilty” 的存在,不再做「我甚麼都知」”I know-it-all” 的家長和成年人。


不少LGBTIQ+家庭關係因而分裂,原是彼此相愛,卻各自活在痛苦糾結中,背後的恐懼、壓力到底來自甚麽? 我們同是文明世界,多元社會一份子,「非當事人」可以作出怎樣的正面回應?"Put yourself in someone's shoes?" ,作為「局內人」又可以有甚麼行動,一同努力建立仁愛、公平、公義,為締造更美好世界作橋樑?


「提升精神健康、推動家庭和諧,社會多元融和,與同志群體、家長及家庭同行」成為我當時立志的使命。


相遇「並非遇然」

將點連結 “Connect the dots “ , 2018年回到溫哥華居住,認識了同是糾結、正尋找同行者的家長,本是近在咫尺的鄰舍,卻要藉著互聯網,找到香港唯一支援同志家長的機構轉介,另一位居於多倫多,三位不同背景的華人家長,終於「相遇」,組成支援小組,彼此同行。 Covid新冠病毒的出現、世界「社會運動」的纷亂,一切像被停頓,但信念仍在湧流。2022年10月遇上了Joanne,她的跨性別身份和不一樣的生命故事,標緻誌著這「相遇」是「行動」的再度啟航,Love of Rainbow Recourses Association ;簡稱LORRA,一個LGBTIQ+及親友的同行群體就此而誔生!


凝聚「同一宇宙」

對於全球LGBTIQ+群體的存在,不能再視而不見,每一位同志背後,必然有兩位家長及其親屬好友,總感到像被賦予著一份「使命」,將每一個獨特、真實感人的生命,坦然活現,觸動人心,憑愛走出第一步;每一個人都藉值得受到尊重、一同享受,人人生而平等、自由自主、率性的生活方式。


我深信無論主流或小衆,凡有生命氣息、睿智有靈的,每一個也是來自同一「大愛」"Greatest Love"的美麗創造!


若此刻您有所觸動,立刻行動,加入我們「愛到底」家長聚會、講座、「訂閱電子報」;凝聚、擁抱、彼此支持,建立正面有力量的群體,一起踐行「愛到底」的信念與使命。


沒有人值得孤單面對,我們一起帶出改變!

12 views0 comments

Comentários


bottom of page