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My Story with My Son 我與兒子的故事

Find the Chinese version by scrolling down.全中文版置於最下方。

Over four years ago, I showed my son a picture of my nephew’s wedding. He told me there were many types of weddings and this one might not be for him. I had my suspisions, and after asking him, he admitted that he identifies as queer. After that, I developed clinical anxiety and depression because I realized that the vision I had for my family wasn't going to come true. I sought medical help and professional counselling. For months, I could not carry on my usual daily life. Finally, a psychologist tried EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy on me, which worked very well for me. With therapy and medication, I started to get back into my daily routine.

I began to look at the situation from my son’s point of view, and realized that it’s not about me, but it’s about him and his life. My son is the same bundle of joy whom I gave birth to. He grew up as a bright child who always exceeded our expectations. Now I have a very close relationship with my son (who is happily married), better than ever before. It hasn’t been easy as I often felt alone. Some friends and relatives are very supportive while others have more discriminatory attitudes. They became judgemental even though my son is the same outstanding person before they found out that he is queer. I used to be devastated about others’ change in attitude towards my son. However, time is a great healer and I learned to focus on people who care to walk this journey with us. At times, it seemed like there were no other families like ours until we formed this parents' group. All of us love our kids and are willing to do anything to support and love them.

Hopefully together we can create a community to support closeted parents and help them build a strong relationship with their kids.

四年前,我給兒子看了一張我侄子的婚禮照片。 他告訴我婚禮有很多種,但這種婚禮可能不適合他。 我有我的懷疑,在詢問他之後,他承認他認為自己是酷兒。 之後,我出現了臨床焦慮和抑鬱,因為我意識到我對家人的願景不會實現。 我尋求醫療幫助和專業諮詢。 幾個月來,我無法繼續正常的日常生活。 最後,一位心理學家對我嘗試了EMDR(眼動脫敏和再處理)療法,對我來說效果非常好。 通過治療和藥物治療,我開始恢復日常生活。

我開始從兒子的角度看待這個問題,並意識到這不是我的問題,而是他和他的生活的問題。 我的兒子和我生下的孩子一樣快樂。 他長大後是一個聰明的孩子,總是超出我們的期望。 現在我和我兒子(他婚姻幸福)的關係比以往任何時候都更加親密。 這並不容易,因為我經常感到孤獨。

有些朋友和親戚非常支持,而另一些則持歧視態度。 儘管我的兒子在發現他是同性戀之前也是同樣傑出的人,但他們變得挑剔。 我曾經因別人對我兒子態度的改變而感到震驚。 然而,時間是一劑良藥,我學會了關注那些願意與我們一起走過這段旅程的人。 有時,在我們成立這個家長小組之前,似乎沒有其他家庭像我們這樣。 我們所有人都愛我們的孩子,並願意盡一切努力來支持和愛他們。


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